0:01  

Hey there friends. Welcome to the better postpartum podcast. I’m your host Angel Swan, crunchy mom, coffee addict and postpartum doula turned new mom, coach. This podcast is your audio guide to not just surviving, but thriving during those early and newborn days. If you want to care for yourself, your household and your baby with confidence, grab your earbuds because this is the only podcast that you need. So what do you say? Should we get started with today’s episode? Let’s do this. Hey, friends, thank you so much for tuning in today. Before we get started, I think you know what I’m going to do. I’m going to read a really nice, short and sweet review submitted by Victoria. She says, so good. This podcast is amazing. Hey, Victoria, you’re amazing girl. Thank you so much for that review. If you’ve been loving my podcasts, and you’re learning from it, police, go over to Apple podcasts and subscribe, leave me that five star rating. And if you really love me, you’ll write a little written review even the short and sweet ones, you guys, all of them make my day truly, and all of your ratings and reviews, it helps other moms find my podcasts so that they can learn from it too. So thanks again, Victoria. And let’s get into today’s episode, which is how to stop staying up late to catch up on tours, even if you have a baby. So funny thing, I actually will go every now and then and look through the number of downloads that each podcast episode has in you guys are eating up all of my like productivity with a baby episodes. So I wanted to put this one out there. Because I know because I’ve been on many calls with moms to talk about this specific problem, which is that they just they can’t even have any time to themselves. Because they didn’t even have enough time during the day to get all of their chores done. So they’re having to stay up late to get these chores done. So then they never even have a moment to themselves. And if they were to put the chores, you know, to the side and not stay up late and do them and you know, focus on themselves instead, then they’re like, I just feel guilty because there’s so much other things that I should be doing. So if this is you, if you’re staying up late to catch up on chores, first of all, why haven’t you joined back to you my group coaching program, this is one of the little things that I teach. Within the program, we work on getting your baby a routine on a routine, we set up consistent self care routines for yourself, we learn how to prioritize your tasks and playing them out so that you’re never doing more than like one or two chores in a day. It’s amazing you guys. And we also build up your support system if you don’t have one. So the system that I use in back to you, it’s special, it’s a different kind of planning, because it all goes around your baby schedule. Okay, so you’re not just like making plans for the day, with only like what you want in mind. It’s what you want. But it’s also like realistic, it’s like this is what’s happening with my baby at this time. And realistically, when can I get things done. Also, when am I going to have my self care, right, because that is so so so important. And it’s it’s a really incredible program. And I’m already seeing amazing transformations for some of my students, like I’m getting messages from them telling me that I’m blowing their mind with my systems. So I’m just going to teach you one of the little it’s just like a little flavor of something that we do go over within my group coaching program back to you, which is this this episode today. So we’re gonna first in order to stop staying up late to catch up on your chores, here’s the first thing that we’re going to do, you need to create a consistent routine for how you do each chore. And this way, you’re going to be doing it the exact same way every single time that you do it. So you can either do one of two things, you can break down your chore on a piece of paper, or you can have like a digital like Notepad or to do list and you’re gonna write out each step for the chore be so specific that you’re like Angel, this is so extra, if it feels extra, then you’re doing it right, you’re gonna write out your system for getting each chore done step by step, you’re gonna write it out. And this is going to give you that mental space because you’re getting the mental checklist out of your head and putting it on paper or on a digital notepad or whatever you get out of your head. So you don’t have to use up so much of your brain power on your chores. And you can save that mental energy for things that you enjoy. Like things that you want to focus on, like your self care, your family time,

4:51  

right, those things are important. You don’t want to use up all your brain energy on chores. That’s not fun. That’s not a fun way to live. Okay, and you’re gonna keep all these little checklists and systems, either on a sheet of paper or in like a digital space. And if you’re doing the paper route, you’re going to put that piece of paper like right next to wherever you do that chore. So if you have like a system for how you do your laundry, you’re going to put it on the washer dryer, like tape it on their system for how you do the dishes, believe it or not, I have a system for how I do the dishes. And I know that it’s effective, because when I do the dishes, I get it. I get it all done. 100% of the time, when my husband does dishes, he is like a, like a fish out of water like flopping around. He has no direction you guys. It’s almost embarrassing watching him do dishes like, Eric, if you ever hear this, I love you. But oh my gosh, I really hate watching you do the dishes. It’s so ridiculous. You guys. Like me, right? I have a system. First, if there’s anything in the drying rack, this is just a mini system for you guys a little flavor, okay? If there’s anything in my drying rack, I put it away because it’s usually dry by this point in my routine, because I have so many routines in my life that I’m already set up to go for the dishes when it’s time. So I put those things away. Now, if there’s clean dishes in my dishwasher, those come out of the dishwasher, and they go onto my drying rack in a very specific way. So that everything that’s in my dishwasher fits on my drying rack. I am like a Tetris master, if you’ve ever played that game, I can fit things like little puzzle piece, I can make it fit like a glove in such a way that everything’s gonna get dry right on time. So I take everything out of the dishwasher and let it dry my drying rack because we don’t do the heated dry function because just uses up too much energy. And then if there’s anything in the sink, which let me tell you, I don’t have dishes in my sink, I That’s a rule that I have. If there’s something big that needs to be washed, I wash it like ASAP, I do not leave big dishes in my sink. And if they’re big like a pot or whatever, a pan, I wash it and I immediately dry it and I will put it away, I do not like to have those things laying around. So that’s like, that’s kind of my system, I don’t have it written down because I have it like I know it so well. But that’s just kind of an example of how you can break things down. Okay, another system that you might have is like a system for how you clean your bathrooms. So you might write that out and have it like inside of a bathroom drawer. Every time you open up your drawer you’re reminded of that system. Because if you haven’t cleaned your bathroom in a while, you’ll be reminded, hey, maybe you should clean me. Or you just keep it in there or you keep it I have a little tote with my three cleaners that I use, and a couple rags and a couple scrub brushes. And that would be a perfect place to put my cleaning system right to tape it to the side of my tote, that would be perfect. So those are just a couple things that you can create little systems around. So that you do the same thing every single time. And it will seriously, you’ll be so amazed at like the relief in your brain. When you get all of that mental load out of all the checklists for your to dues like it’s incredible. You just get it all out one time you think about it really hard one time. And then the rest of the times that you go to do it, you just follow this little list that you’ve already written, you don’t even have to think about it. Okay, so the next step is you need to make a plan for when you’re going to be doing your chores. So if you write out all of the two dues that you have stored in your brain, you can then plan when you’re going to do each of these chores, okay, to space out your chores, over the course of one week, instead of trying to cram a bunch of the chores into one day. Because let’s be realistic, you’re not going to get a whole lot done in one day. If you have all of the things planned for the day, right? Just do one or two a day. And I teach you specifically how to do this inside of back to you I show you how to like prioritize and make these things happen. So again, if you’re not in back to you, you should really think about joining because right now is the the lowest prices ever going to be the prices going up in March you need to join now click the link in the episode description Angel swan.com/back to you okay, but anyways, when you when you plan out your chores, you will be so surprised like it is such a relief. When you realize when you give yourself permission

9:42  

to not do everything in one day, like when you realize, oh, I don’t have to do this all today or I don’t have to do this all tomorrow. A huge weight is just lifted off your shoulders. And that’s something that I feel personally and that’s something that my current students have told me too. They’re like Oh, That is cool. I don’t have to get all this done tomorrow. That’s amazing. So that’s the other thing. Next thing that you want to do is start your chores really early in the morning to give yourself a head start. So this is called front loading your day, when you start early in the day, you really do get a head start truly, even if you get interrupted by your baby, which you’re going to get interrupted, okay, you need to be flexible. But even if you get interrupted, you can easily pick the task back up in a little while. And you have plenty of time to get that thing done, simply because you started early in the day. But earlier in the day that you start your chores, the easier it’s going to be to get them all done. And I say chores, because generally like I know a lot of my listeners are stay at home moms. So a lot of you are trying to balance being a mom and doing your chores, and trying to take care of yourself. That’s why I talk about the chores, but even let this works to all of these things work. If you’re a working mom, and you have a specific, you have specific tasks that you need to get done for work, you can 100% apply what I’m teaching here to your work, I actually have students who are doing that they live there, and they don’t even need a special lesson, right? Because what I’m teaching, it works for all the things it works for home chores, it works for your your work, chores, your tasks, it works for all of it. So start your chores, your tasks, whatever, early in the day, it’s going to be easier to get them all done. Starting your chores in the afternoon or the evening. That is a recipe for disaster. Okay, it is a surefire way to make sure that you will stay up past your bedtime trying to finish everything. It just is, trust me, or you’re going to be so tired, that you don’t even want to stay up late and finish everything. So then when you wake up in the morning, you have unfinished projects from yesterday. And that sucks, too. I’m not saying that that’s never going to happen with my system, right? Because babies do have days where they’re just like, holy moly their little fast balls and you can’t do anything not even baby wearing or feeding them or whatever. Like there’s nothing you can do. I get that. That’s why I teach so much flexibility with my planning system within back to you. But you you just got to try and stick with the routine of getting things done super early. Okay, the next thing that you need to do to stop staying up late, is use baby gear as tools to help you get the job done. So, babywearing I don’t know how many times I have to tell you about the magic that is baby wearing. But it is truly the best thing since sliced bread for real baby wearing it makes your baby feel safe, which means that they’re gonna fuss less, you will be hands free. Okay. And I’ve heard from a couple of you that you’ve tried babywearing, and it was not the most comfortable because this is typically from listeners who are very petite. So I wanted to tell you there are a couple carriers that work better for petite moms. Specifically the Lilly baby I think it’s 100. I’m going to try and spell it the lily baby if you if you are looking at baby wearing carriers, you will find it. That one is a structured carrier that is made for petite moms. Also the baby Catan is great for petite moms. A Stretchy Wrap really works for anybody. But if you’re a petite mom and you’re trying to use like the Ergo baby, those really are. They’re not like optimized for a smaller body. So just something to think about because I’ve heard from a couple people that you’ve tried babywearing, you’re like oh, it’s not working because I’m so small, my baby so big. So just trying to give you some options there. Because I know that a lot of moms a lot of you guys use your baby as an excuse for why you didn’t get things done right. And like I said, some days babies are very fussy, no matter what you do babywearing nursing all the things. They require a lot of extra time and energy and I understand that. I really do like I’m a mom, I’m a postpartum doula. I’ve seen it all okay.

14:32  

But most of the time, a fussy baby can be calmed down by wearing them. And they’re going to be totally happy to come along for the ride with you as you get things done around the house. But if you do have one of those days where they are just screaming their head off all day long, there’s nothing you can do to make them happy. I get it. Okay. You don’t have to get your things done today. You have permission. Give yourself permission to take a break. Right. That’s wonderful. 100% Okay, because your baby is not if they’re not cooperating, then listen, I understand, I really do. That’s why when I go over all these things like we are super flexible, okay? We are not strict open here, we don’t do that we are flexible, because we’re moms right. But all the same baby wearing helps. And you can even wear them while you do your self care routines. Okay. So you know, if you have a baby you’d like does not content to do anything on their own, like mine. You can like you know, wear them, you can take a breather, you could do a quick meditation. I really like guided meditation because my brain wanders a lot. So I like put in the calm app in my earbuds and just kind of do that a little bit. You can totally read a book, while you’re wearing them, you can listen to podcast, Hey, you want to step outside for some fresh air. Totally do that while you’re wearing them. Like all of these things work when your baby wearing. I’m trying to think of something that I do for myself that wouldn’t work while baby wearing and that would probably be my skincare routine. I think it would just it just would not work to be able to like wash my face and do all that with a baby on me. Maybe if it were on my back, though. So if you’re feeling a little adventurous, try back wearing because you really can get even more done and it’s actually a lot more comfortable to wear them on your back when you can figure that out. Okay, the other tool that you can use your for your baby gear is a play gym. So you just take the play gym, to the spot where you’re going to be doing whatever specific chore that it is. You know, the little play gym is really easy to move around. You can set up the gym, wherever you’re going to be stationed to do your chores. So you know in the kitchen for when you’re cooking or doing the dishes or maybe next few wherever you fold the laundry I don’t know, I typically fold at my dining room table, just have all the folded stuff on my table. Then when it’s all done, I put it into a laundry basket. You know, so just bring them around with you. And to keep your baby entertained in the gym longer. You could talk to them every now and then make silly faces at them make silly sounds at them. Position them so that their feet are kicking something that jingles babies really love that stuff. Like they love when they move in a sound happens. It’s just I don’t know, it’s great, but true. It’ll keep on it’ll keep them entertained for like 30 minutes. If you position them in that way that they’re kicking something that makes a little jiggly sound. Try it out and tell me that it worked. Tell me because I know a will. Okay, the other tool you can use is a bouncer. So again, you just bring this along with you and your baby can watch you do chores. Babies love watching you fold laundry pro tip. So it’s kind of the same idea as the baby gym, just kind of bringing them around with you in this little apparatus. This is especially good for reflux babies. So if your baby needs to be up right after feeding for you know, like 30 minutes is the recommended time if they need to be upright after feeding and to keep their tummies calm, but you need to get stuff done. Like you don’t have time to sit around and hold them for 30 minutes because that is such a pain. The bouncers going to come in clutch it is key. Same thing with playgym. You know, interact with them, talk with them, make the silly basis if you’re folding laundry be really dramatic with it, like totally put on a little show. Babies do tend to fuss if they feel lonely. So if you’re interacting with them, they’re more likely to be content in the play gym or a bouncer for a longer stretches of time. So just keep that in mind. The next thing that you can do to kind of blast through your chores, is to just play some good music and make it fun. Like what is your favorite song? Who’s your favorite music artist or band or whatever? I like to put together some playlists of my favorite songs like and I kind of divide them up by mood, like do I feel like dancing? Do I feel like jammin like, I make playlists, dance and sing along to your music while you get stuff done. And again, like your baby’s gonna love watching you do this. If they’re at the point where they’re laughing, they’re totally gonna laugh at you and have a blast. It is a win win. It’s good for everybody.

19:29  

So, allow so this is the next tip. Okay, we’re gonna allow whatever you get done during the daytime to be enough and let go of the thought that you need to stay up late to finish everything. Okay, so this is something you have to work on with your mind. You have to set a hard boundary for when you’ll be done with chores for the day, and you have to stick with it. You can totally have someone hold you accountable. Whether that’s your partner or your best friend endureth you know, maybe you made a new mom friend, and you want to tell her what you’re doing. Tell someone your plan to get things done early in the day so that you’re done doing chores by I don’t know, 8pm or whatever time and ask your accountability partner to remind you to stop, when you say that you’re going to stop, you can ask them to check in with you and see how you’re doing with this boundary. And for you, you know, notice how you feel when you stick to this boundary, at first is probably going to make you uncomfortable, and that’s okay. It will get easier. But when you stick to the boundary, notice how much more rested you feel after a good night’s sleep, because you chose to prioritize getting sleep, instead of staying up late to finish chores, right? The chores can wait, if you didn’t get it done. It’s okay. It’s okay. Because it’s gonna be harder tomorrow. To get things done, if you stay up late, like it’s just a vicious cycle of feeds into itself. So just hold on to the feeling, have a good night’s rest. As a reminder, for those times you’re thinking, Maybe I should stay up late. Just Just one more thing, just one more thing. And then like three hours later, it’s like 1am, and you’re like, Oh, crap, I need to go to bed. And, you know, you need as much sleep as you can get right? You are probably waking up at night. As often. As that often happens, like when you have a baby, you’re probably just waking up anyways. So sleep is more important now than ever. So you need to prioritize your own rest so that you can show up for your home and your family and for yourself the way that you want to show up. Like, do you want to be a hot mess? Do you enjoy that? Like, I know hot mess mom was like a trendy term. But I don’t like it. I don’t want to be a hot mess. I want to have my stuff together. I’m pretty sure you want to too, because you guys really love these episodes about maintaining your home. You want to be more organized, I get it. You want to be that mom who’s thriving, you want to be on top of your game, you want to be that mom who has her stuff together. Okay, no more hot mess. Mom, let’s let’s throw that out the window, let’s change. Let’s change that we don’t we don’t need hot mess mom anymore. So the tips that I shared in this episode today, it’s really just a preview of one of the things that I teach in my group coaching program back to you. So if you want more of this, you got to come and join the group coaching program. You can join the program by going to Angel swan.com/back to you. And if you like the tips that I gave on this podcast and you want to work with me one on one, so you can really find a balance between being a mom and being yourself. Like the one on one, right? You go to Angel swan.com/work with me. So you can choose one on one coaching or I really would love it if you joined back to you. It’s so comprehensive. There, everything is covered, everything is covered. And you still get to talk with me one on one in our coaching calls. So the link for all of those things will be in the episode description for you. And you know what, as always, don’t forget to come hang out with me on Instagram at Angel dot swan. You can grab my free postpartum planner on my website, Angel swan.com. And of course don’t forget, go on Apple podcasts. rate review and subscribe. Thank you so much for listening. I’ll talk to you soon. Buh bye. Thank you so much for listening to the better postpartum podcast. Here’s what I want you to do next. If you loved what you heard today, would you do me a giant favor and leave me a written five star review? Those little love notes that you leave are the perfect way to thank me for putting out these episodes just for you. Seriously, it would mean the world to me. Next, take a screenshot of the episode you’re listening to right now and share it on your Instagram stories and make sure you tag me at Angel dot swan. That’s SW o n so that more moms can find this podcast and hopefully get the advice and encouragement they need to truly thrive with their babies. And don’t forget to come back every single week for more nuggets of wisdom and truth bombs about the early motherhood journey. I’ll talk to you next time. Bye bye