42. Reasons every mom needs time to herself, even if it‘s just 15 minutes a day - Benefits of self care as a postpartum mother
When’s the last time you took 15 minutes to do something special, just for you?
Don’t let mom guilt stop you from giving yourself a break.
Listen in to learn why self care as a new mom is so important!
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:
Hey there friends. Welcome to the better postpartum podcast. I’m your host Angel Swan, crunchy mom, coffee addict and postpartum doula turned new mom, coach. This podcast is your audio guide to not just surviving but thriving during those early and newborn days. If you want to care for yourself, your household and your baby with confidence, grab your earbuds because this is the only podcast that you need. So what do you say? Should we get started with today’s episode? Let’s do this. Hello, friends. Thank you for tuning in today. Really quick. Before we get started, I just wanted to read this really sweet in short review submitted by serene Serena it says, so glad I found this podcast, lovely little nuggets of info and comfort in a podcast. Thanks for sharing. Thank you Serena for that review. You guys, if you’re loving this podcast and you’re learning from it, please go over to Apple podcasts. Hit that subscribe button, leave me a five star rating. And if you really love me, leave that review, the written review really does little extra boost for me. The little love knows that you leave me really make my day and it helps other new moms find this podcast so that they can learn from it too. So thank you again to Serena. Now let’s get into today’s episode, which is reasons every mom needs time to herself, even if it’s just 15 minutes a day. So to quote everyday health, self care is anything you do to take care of yourself. So you can stay physically, mentally and emotionally well. So if you don’t practice self care every day, then how can you expect to be physically mentally and emotionally Well, neglecting to take time for your own well being is going to lead to burnout. Experiencing burnout as a mom is one of the worst feelings. Because not only do you feel rundown, exhausted and feel like you’re running on empty, you feel defeated, you feel defeated, like you’re failing as a mom. Because when you’re a mom, you somehow have to manage to take care of your baby, no matter how you’re feeling, it doesn’t matter like you cannot take a sick day. And then on top of that you also have all the other things that you want to take care of, like taking care of your home like that never ending to do list that we have, right? Your job as a mom never stops. You cannot just pick and choose when you’re going to be a mom. Because once your mom your mom forever. So if you’re constantly having to be a mom, is it possible then to be yourself too? Is it possible to just have those moments to just be who you used to be before you had a baby? So I want you to think back to before you were a mom. What did you like to do in a day? How did you manage your time? What kinds of things were you doing for yourself that just really fueled your spirit? Are you an artist? Did you like to make things are you crafty? Maybe you had a stellar skincare routine that you followed to a tee every morning and night. Or maybe you like to feel put together you know you had like a cohesive outfit you might have put a little bit of mascara on, you had like your own style going. Maybe you like to work out regularly and keep yourself feeling strong and fit. Maybe like to go meet up with your friends and have some kind of outing socially. Whatever it is that you used to love doing that really fueled your soul before having a baby, I want you to know that it is possible to do those things or some variation of those things. Even if you’re a mom with a baby, it might look a little bit different for the first few months or even a year after having your baby maybe even two years after to be honest. But you can do it. I know that babies and toddlers like they require a lot of attention, I really get that. So doing these things for yourself might look a little bit different. But I also know that you know You’re your own person. And you really need to do things that you actually enjoy besides taking care of your little one, you know, not just doing the things that your baby needs or that your partner needs from you or, you know, just doing something special. That is just for you. Something that really just lights you up and makes you feel good, whether that’s physically like working out, mentally, you know, doing some journaling, or maybe emotionally. Just doing something that’s good for you
When you have a baby, you’re probably not going to be able to take large chunks of time to devote to yourself, which is why I like to start with a goal of just 15 minutes a day. And then we can build from there. Because I believe that all of these like preconceived notions of what it means to be a good mom, they tend to make us feel like a bad mom, right? Like, no matter how hard you try, someone is always going to have some sort of opinion of how you could be doing something better, or like, you’re doing this, you should be doing that, or you’ll just never be able to be that mom, who seems to have it all together. So back to that question that I posed earlier. Like, is it really possible to find the balance between being a mom and being yourself? I think it is. Actually, I know it is. It is 100% possible to take that time to love on yourself to rejuvenate yourself to fill up your cup, even if you have a baby clung to you, 24/7. Or mostly, you know, think, hopefully not 24/7. But honestly, some days it feels like that, right? But don’t get me wrong, right? When it comes to taking a break from your mom duties, your chores, whatever you feel like you should be doing something besides taking that break. Like there’s always something else you should be doing. Besides pouring into yourself and doing something just for you. It’s so easy to feel that sense of guilt. Like, who am I to take this 15 minutes just for me when there’s so much else that I should be doing right now? Like, have you ever felt that way, raise your hand, I don’t care where you are, I know I can’t see you. I know that you’re raising your hand, you like you’re constantly doing things for everyone else. And then you have no time left over to do something for yourself. So if that’s you consider this your wake up call. Because you cannot, I repeat, you cannot continue running the cycle of trying to do everything for everyone else, without taking care of yourself, first, you will burn out, you will reach your breaking point and you will break down. And that breakdown does not look good. It is not pretty. That breakdown can lead to really awful patterns of thinking, intrusive thoughts like negative self talk, and ultimately depression. And as a new mom, you’re already at risk of postpartum depression just because you have all these postpartum hormones that are running through your body. And that is why right now is the time to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself first. I can tell you from personal experience, and watching many of my clients go through this as well that trying to do all of the things without first nurturing yourself, your mind, your body, and your spirit is going to leave you in a dark place. And for me, that was postpartum depression. I just kept trying to do everything by myself. I didn’t ask for help. I had people around me, who would have totally been willing to give me a little bit of help so that I could go and take a break. But I had this really stupid idea in my head. And I mean, stupid. And that was, I thought that because I was a mom. That meant that I was somehow supposed to be able to juggle all of these things on my own, and that I should do that. How dumb is that? I just want to go back to that person that I was a few years ago. grab her by the shoulders and shake her like, do you see what you’re doing to yourself, you are literally causing all of your problems, all of your stress and your exhaustion. You are causing it by not accepting help by not taking a break. This whole mom burnout thing it is real. But it is also something that is 100%, solvable and preventable. And if you let feelings of guilt make you believe that you must be doing all the things all the time, you’re gonna burn out just like I did.
And this is something that I hear all the time from my clients, you all my listeners, all of you, all the moms that you don’t even know how to make time for yourself, let alone let alone make time for yourself without feeling guilty about it. Time is the issue. And then on top of that we add the layer of guilt. You know your baby needs you all the time. your to do list is never ending you have unfinished business Jacks out the wazoo, and it just feels selfish to take a step back from all of that to do something that’s just for you. And I have been doing research, I’ve been talking to new moms, like one on one hopping on the phone and having conversations. And if you follow me on Instagram, you will know this already. But I am creating a program for new moms like you to solve this exact problem. My program is designed to teach new moms, how to create time to do the things that you used to enjoy before having a baby without feeling guilty for stepping back from the chores that you feel like you should be doing instead, that you might be thinking create more time. That just doesn’t sound possible. That actually sounds kind of silly, create more time, where does it come from? It’s possible friend, I have a step by step system called the guilt free mama method. And it teaches you exactly how to do this. So I’m just gonna run through it, and I want you to think about it. The first step is to unpack the guilt. So we do this by putting things into perspective, you know, are things really as bad as you think they are? Or are you just focusing on the negative, then we break down all of the feelings with guilt by doing some journaling prompts and thought exercises, and then we let the guilt go. Because that mom guilt, that’s a useless emotion, it only serves to bring you down, and you don’t have to live with it. The next step is to gather your support system. If you’re like me, your instinct is to try and just work all of this out on your own. Which is why we dive into the benefits of a support system within my program. And I know that not everyone has a support system built in, which is why I also teach you how to build your own support system. You don’t need to have friends or family who live nearby, you can go through this program, even if you’re in a new place, and you don’t know anyone in the area yet. Now once you’ve built your support system, we go over how to sustain that support system. Because these relationships do take a little bit of work. And so I teach you how to do that. The next step is to develop your baby and toddler routines. Because really, you will not be able to create more time for yourself until you’ve gotten your kid on a solid predictable routine. And I do have podcast episodes on like baby routines. But in my program, I go over it in great depth, especially sleep like how much sleep your baby or toddler should be getting at each stage in development, how much daytime sleep nighttime sleep nap durations, those things.
I know also that some of you are, all of you are in different stages. So I’ve created separate lessons. One is specifically for babies, and one is specifically for toddlers. And then the final lesson in this is to be prepared for disruptions in your routine because sleep regressions, teething milestones will happen. And so this lesson will teach you how to get through all of that. And then the final step in the program is probably my favorite, because I am a total nerd when it comes to time management. So this final step is called Create your weekly plan. So we go over your non negotiables that is what is your default setting what absolutely needs to be done for your life to run smoothly. Then I teach you how to brain dump all the things that are in your head, that never any to do list that you have in your brain. We work it out on paper, and I teach you how to prioritize your tasks. Because I have heard from all of you basically that every task feels equally important. They’re all like equally weighted. And that’s why you feel like you’re never actually able to get things done. So then once we have those things figured out, I’ll teach you time blocking that actually works around your baby schedule, so that you have more predictability to your day. And then by using my special time blocking method, you’ll be able to find little pockets in your day that you can use to do something special just for you. And you will be more productive all around. It’s seriously amazing. I am so excited about this program. And the best thing about this program, the guilt free mama method is that you’re not going to be doing this alone. I have set up a Facebook community where members can go and you can ask questions, get feedback and support for me and other moms who are going through the program as well. I will also be hosting weekly q&a calls where you can pick my brain asked me questions and get instant feedback As a bonus, if you finish the program in three weeks or less, I’m gonna send you a little gift card. So your next Starbucks order will be on me just as like a little like, good for you. Good job, go get yourself a copy, you deserve it. Now, the guilt free mama method, my program is still brand new, which means that you have this incredible opportunity to come and take the program at a highly discounted rate. Now I will be raising the price of the program in 2022. So if this is something that you would really benefit from, you’re like, yes, Angel a sign me up. Teach me your ways. I need more time. I want to change my life. If that’s you, I want you to come and join me on this journey right now. Go to Angel swan.com/more time, that’s Angel s w o n.com/more. Time to join my program while it’s still on sale. I seriously know that this will change your life. And I can’t wait to support you inside of the membership community. Wow. All right, friends. I think that’s all for today. As always, don’t forget that you can hang out with me on Instagram. At Angel dot swan. You can grab my free postpartum planner on my website, Angel swan.com. And of course don’t forget to go on Apple podcasts and rate review and subscribe. Thank you so much for listening. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye. Bye. Thank you so much for listening to the better postpartum podcast. Here’s what I want you to do next. If you loved what you heard today, would you do me a giant favor and leave me a written five star review? Those little love notes that you leave are the perfect way to thank me for putting out these episodes just for you. Seriously, it would mean the world to me. Next, take a screenshot of the episode you’re listening to right now and share it on your Instagram stories and make sure you tag me at Angel dot swan. That’s SW o n so that more moms can find this podcast and hopefully get the advice and encouragement they need to truly thrive with their babies. And don’t forget to come back every single week for more nuggets of wisdom and truth bombs about the early motherhood journey. I’ll talk to you next time. Bye bye